But...I wrote a fic! :'D
Title: In Supplication or Prayer
Character/Pairing: Castiel, autistic man who drowned in his bathtub in the 1950s
Spoilers: not really?
Summary: there is a place that just might be heaven, and a man who just might be an angel, and his head is bowed in what might be prayer or supplication.
There is a place that just might be heaven, but I cannot tell you if it is or if it is not. For me, it is the best day of my life, and that is all that matters. I am happy – I am unsure whether I am alive or dead, but that matters not. No, what matters is that there is a man – a man who just might be an angel – and he is bent over himself, his head bowed as if in prayer or supplication, and he is speaking. I cannot hear his words, but I know that the words falling from his lips are a confession that may be one of the most important things that would never be heard. I would like to take a step forward, toward the man who may be an angel – but instead, I find myself turning away from him and continuing my never-ending Tuesday afternoon.
The next time I turn around, he is gone.
- Current Location:Penfield Library
- Current Mood: bouncy
Yeah. So. About this time last year, I was going through badbadbathhouse with Gwen and we decided that we wanted to see someone writing Naoto (Persona 4) as Minato's (Persona 3) little sister. There was talk of me posting a request for a fill on the meme, but we started to brainstorm and I started writing it. I was planning to write something small and short and sweet and have it done with by August for her birthday. Then I expanded the storyline and thought 'maybe Christmas' and it expanded again, until I had this monster of a oneshot that didn't want to end. Finally, I kept writing and writing and cut some of the scenes that I was planning from the beginning but didn't remember almost a year later... and finally, about a week ago, I finished it. It's early to be a birthday present, and too late to be a Christmas present, but I'm gonna call it all three - last years birthday, last Christmas and this year's birthday... and a general "I wrote this because I love you and because I wanted to write it."
Edit: Because LJ doesn't like this fic (I guess it's too long?) and I spent the last hour trying to get it to work only to be told UH, NO. by LJ, so I posted it on FFnet against my will...just so people could read it.
- Current Mood: accomplished
Title: The Prize
Fandom: Katekyo Hitman REBORN!
Dedication: to ligust_dactna (I wrote down when I started this that it was for you. Dunno if you remember..)
Summary: They were her boys - they would rather kill her than admit to that in public or in private - and this fight was for her. So she would sit pretty on the throne they made for her, waiting impatiently for the winner to come claim his prize.
( Read more...Collapse )
- Current Mood: artistic
- Current Music:iin desu ka ; RADWIMPS
“Hey.” oh my gosh, you actually noticed my presence, what do I say now, i've been waiting and “I was thinking about going to dinner.” since it's the one thing I can offer to you that you might not reject and I haven't been eating at all and i'm so sorry for bothering you because “I know you're probably really busy, but do you want to come with me?” I miss you I miss you I miss you
please say yes
She knows before he says anything that the answer is no. Her stomach drops and she feels empty, filled with cold. Her throat closes up and she can't feel her fingers anymore and it's almost like her heart stopped beating except for how much it hurts with every thu-thump thu-thump thu-thump that she's sure will knock her over and give her away. Casually, she runs her fingers through her hair and realizes that she's shaking. She hopes he can't tell, but she shouldn't have worried. He doesn't even look at her anymore, of course he wouldn't see how afraid she is of his answer.
He smiles and it's enough to start her heart racing for a completely different reason and the lightness she feels isn't empty and heavy and dark. Please please please
“I wish I could, but I really have to finish this.”
She is careful not to change her expression, even as he apologizes to her. She keeps the smile on her face and laughs a little, waving her hand. “Definitely, definitely. It's” not “okay, don't worry about it. I know you're really busy, so” i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry “I'll just go now, okay? See you later!”
She closes his door and her eyes screw shut once she hears the heavy sound echoing. Smile, smile, come on, smile, keep smiling, it's okay... Her heart is beating painfully once more and she wishes she could reach into her chest and tear it out, wishes she didn't get her hopes up because he smiled again, wishes that she hadn't knocked on his door in the first place. don't cry don't cry don't cry
She shouldn't have worked up her courage and knocked. She shouldn't have even come down to his floor in the first place, shouldn't have thought about it, shouldn't have stood outside his door for fifteen minutes before tapping on his door, should have left before he opened it.
It's not like he would have gone, anyway. She could count on her fingers the number of times they've spent time together this semester that didn't have to do with studying and other people, and they were all in the first week. Stupid stupid stupid.
She knew she was crying but she didn't pay attention. The tears were nothing new; they happened every time I think of you more often than not these days and usually for the silliest of reasons. She couldn't tell if she was smiling anymore but her heart was still hurting so she probably was. It always hurt more when she lied showed something different on the outside than what she was really feeling.
By the time she walked back to the stairs, she consciously decided not to have dinner. it's day five, maybe tomorrow She was exhausted from trying to appear normal to him, didn't think she could keep up the act in front of other people too. After all, she always gave him her best act. She doesn't want him to worry never about me but maybe I do but you would never notice me crying over you anyway
- Current Location:Chu Atrium, SUNY Oswego campus
- Current Mood: anxious
I was watching a new drama, 素直になれなくて (Sunao ni Narenakute, Hard to Say I Love You), and my friend Kim comes up to ask about the Chinese homework. Understandably, I'm like WHAAAAAAT? and proceed to work on Chinese homework.
I even call this guy I know - cute guy, yes - to ask for help with one of the questions because I don't know what it means... (你叫Gui美美吗？) and find out that the part I don't understand (Gui美美) is the person's NAME! Ugh, I was so embarassed.... I thought it was something special, but it turned out to be the name.. >< And I didn't have any other questions for him! Just the one...
But, yeah, so I finished half of my Chinese homework and Kim was working on the other half, so I guess we're pretty much just trading answers at this point, but I'm not working on that right now, I'll copy the answers later..... and Bofu said that if I have other questions, I can just message him tomorrow and he'll help me.
But now I've gotta do my music homework and I'm like WTF cuz it's 11pm and I have class at 9 tomorrow and I just want to finish watching this drama ;~;
...but, I guess I'll go out into the lounge to work on it so I'm not distracted... or I'll stay in here and do it, idk yet.
- Current Location:915 Hart Hall
- Current Mood: anxious
- Current Music:Hard to say I love you theme
It turns out that my stomach pains and such are a badder infection ><
Buuuuuuuut... since I waited so long to get it checked out, the bladder infection was starting to become a kidney infection.
BUT I HAVE ANTIBIOTICS. MEDICINE. YESSSSS.
...Unfortunately, I still have to go to class.
And I have a cold on top of the bladder infection. Blegh.
Gwen gave me her cold! Meanie. I guess Shota only had allergies... but, you know... he gets sick too.
Now, it's time for me to take my garbage out and get ready for my 1:50 class... by which I mean pack up my stuff and play around for an hour or so.
- Current Location:915 Hart Hall
- Current Mood: determined
It probably happened between hugging Gwen (who was sick) and waking up next to Shota (who was getting sick).
But it just hit me like....today. Well, okay, last night. When I was going to sleep.
Runny nose, sore throat...
At least I know I'm not a fool, right?? :D
...but this is on top of other things that've been going wrong, healthwise. I have had massive stomach pain for about a week now. Not actually in my stomach, but my abdominal area... Like, underneath my ribs and around my back and Becca said it might be my ovaries swelling up or something?
Either way, I have a doctor's appointment in about two hours at the clinic on campus. I don't wanna go, but I DO want to know what's wrong with me and get better.... And on Thursday (at 915am, fucking hell) I have an appointment with the GYN on campus... ewww, I don't wanna do that againnnnnnnn.... but I have to. Fuck.
Also. I'm down to 7 meals a week. Yesterday, I didn't even go to the dining hall... my friend brought me up a sandwich at around 6ish for dinner. It was delicious <3
I'm gonna be honest here and say that I've practically disappeared off LJ. Sorry! And attempts to spend more time on here have not worked either. Double sorry! So I'm not going to say that I will, but so far I've posted twice(ish) this week, and filled out a friending meme.
College keeps Britnie a busy, busy girl...
Did I make the announcement that I'm the secretary for my Aikido club? Oh, well, I did now... I'm also the secretary of the in-progress Nihon-GO! club, which I don't know much about because the President is running around,trying to make us official. Yayyy, official!
....yes, that was me typing Chinese. "wo de peng you zai na li?" means "where is my friend?" (or so my teacher told us... and then made us sing the song to five people as homework. Which made the song get stuck in my head and I can now ask and answer to "where is my friend?" in Chinese...)
Gwen gave me her old computer, so I'm all excited! I can now write/read Chinese/Japanese and other things!!! Woot woot!!! I can also watch videos! ...which pretty much means that I'm rewatching favorite dramas (のだめカンタビレ) and starting new dramas (やまとなでしこしちへんげ) that I've read the manga for and starting completely NEW series that I've never even heard of before (Personal Taste, Korean drama). I'm also going to get started on anime<3 But I'm not sure which ones yet... any recommendations?
I can also do wireless internet. This makes Britnie happy.
Also! Livejournal doesn't seem to hate Google Chrome as much as it hates Internet Explorer. I'm not sure why this is, but Google Chrome is my new favorite browser, even if trying to do favorites and such is a pain. <3
- Current Location:915 Hart Hall
- Current Mood: crappy
- Current Music:我的朋友在那里？在这里！在这里！我的朋友在这里！
(For those of you who can't read Japanese...)
Everyone! Hello! It's been a long time, right!!
It really has... I've almost forgotten how to write a journal in English.... it's been a while lol.
I'm back in Oswego!!! <3 Gwen gave me her old laptop, so that's what I'm using now. It's great <3
910: Music 100 - Introduction to Music Theory
1020: Eng 271 - English Grammar
150: Japanese 101
300: Chinese 101
1245: Linguistics 200 - Phonetics, Phonology and Morphology.
....I am so far ahead of everybody else in my Japanese class that it isn't funny. Write my name in katana? Sure.
ugh, but does anybody else in the class know that? Nooooooo.... Of course, it's to be expected. It's a 101 course. I've studied for two years. Over two years. They have not. Unless you count watching anime (and since Anime!Japanese is not.real.Japanese.... it doesn't count.)
But you all know me. I am patient. I am kind. I will not rip off their heads, but offer them help instead. Especially if they really, really need it.
.....and, you know, hope that they drop out of the class before the add/drop period is over. There are too many people.
...you all also know my habits, so you probably realized three minutes ago that I have homework that I need to do... and I'm not doing it... and that there is a deadline coming up in two days. (Actually, the day after tomorrow, shhhhh)
...Google Chrome, so far I love you. <3
I went to Anime Syracuse.... and I cosplayed!!!!! As a real character!!!! For once! (Okay, so last year I went as Haru from Reborn!...but nobody knew the series....) This year I went as Risette! <3
Rise Kujikawa, at your service!
Shota went as L
And there was a Yuki Sohma that I didn't have the balls to talk to... but when we went in to watch the Masquarade (not fun, btw...) Gwen was like "Aww, Yuki's sitting by himself. I dare you to go sit next to him." And I was like "Alright. See you later." I tried being cutesy but I don't know if it worked lol....
Bri/Rise: Hiya! You kinda look like my senpai! Mind if I sit with you? [...or something similar...]
Yuki-senpai let me sit next to him ^_^
I guess Gwen got worried because I never came back, so she came looking for me... and then we had to pick up the Japanese people we left all alone on the other side of the room...
Kimberly is a new addition to the crew... Naho went home ;~;
....I get to meet a bunch of fun Asians living in Hart Hall, don't I? lol.
The meeting new people thing might not keep happening, though. Me and Kim are thinking about moving off campus with her roommate, Min (Korean) for next semester. Gwen said she might come too.
...ugh, back to homeworking...
- Current Location:915 Hart Hall
- Current Mood: busy
- Current Music:Somewhere over the rainbow
kicking? Hmm, good question...
I think I've been inflicted with Strep Throat for the last like...week. But
idk, I didn't go to the doctors. It looked like strep though. And then when
I thought I was mostly over it, my mouth starts to hurt, right? Guess my
throat infected one of my gums... ;~; Whyyyyy? This sucks!!! Gwen won't hang
out with me when I'm sick... more like, her mom said I couldn't come over.
Pretty much the same thihng, though.
Anyway, yay for replaying Persona 4! and Final Fantasy VII! And Fatal Frame
2! And Final Fantasy XII! ...I hate when memory cards go missing...
I'm currently (as in, at this very SECOND) trying to defeat Shadow
Rise/Shadow Teddie... Oh, how I love the autohealing that happens after I
get rid of Rise... <3 Though I'm not sure why I brought Yukiko along this
time.... I mean, she's going to die like 50 times, as always. But Chie only
has ice attacks, which will do absolutely nothing against Teddie... except
heal him. Bastard. LMAO, Unicorn... but at least it's NULL ice, so that'll
be superduper helpful. And it has other attacks than ice!!! YAYYYYY.
I go back to Oswego soon! Oh, how happy that will make me. And Gwen has a
car and her liscence, so she'll be up to see me more often. That makes me
super happy, too.
"What..? I dealt all that exquisite pain and you're still not satisfied?
What a finicky guest... you might as well die, then! *Supreme Insight aka
LETS FUCK MYSELF ON THIS POLE!!!!* No touching allowed!"
Now I'm guarding and making Yukiko heal us all. Hey, now we get to go to
teddie! Yayyyy /sarcasm.
...I wanna smack Teddie so hard that his head comes off. Also, he's one
scary mofo. "Teddie's last stand" ... *shudders* His shadow is one tough son
of a bitch, that's for sure. Am I the only one who loves the fact that
Kanji's voice cracks when Teddie goes flat? And that he's so worried? <3 I
Um, yeah, anyway. *Battling Shadow Teddie* ..I wish I had Diarama/Mediarama
"Stop this futile struggling. Even if you resist, it will all come to
naught..." Oh shittttt. He usually starts up on the heavy Mabufula after
this.... >< Yukiko, you better be ready to face this!
So, bad stuff has been happening at home, as per usual. Dad's kicked me
out... like in the first month I was home. And just a few dayhs ago, he
freaked on my sister. Big not cool. Just cuz they were going to be a little
late for my sister's advisement meeting, and he totally turned around and
went back home instead of going anyway... Ugh, I hate him sometimes... more
often than not.
OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG GUYS. I JUST FINALLY BEAT SHADOW TEDDIE. DO YOU KNOW HOW
MANY TIMES HE HAS KILLED ME?! ...well, this playthrough it has only been
maybe 5 times? BUT STILL. I BEAT THE FUCKER (with a Unicorn). And with like,
2 days to spare. They got mad at me when I decided to go to the Bad, Bad
Bath House to train...
DADDY AND MOMMY ARE HOME! ...BUT DADDY'S DRUNK. Mommy, why is daddy drunk?
...daddy's scaring me.. Adachi-mama to the rescue! /dorkface. *Squeals about
Dojima/Adachi and Naoto*
...Alright, I wasted enough of your time with my rambling. I'll just send
this email and update my LJ and be off with myself...